Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Welcome to My Pity Party!

Right now, it's just me in attendance, but the party has been raging since Sunday afternoon, so come on over whenever you want to.

Here's what's on the menu:
(Most of the Recipes have been adapted from "Debbie Downer Diner")

Pouty Pita Bread with Hopelessness Hummus
Verge of Tears Veggies with Downcast Dip
Self-Centered Sandwiches
Pessimist Pie for Dessert

Special Activities:
Pin the Icepack on the Ache
Blame-It-On-Everyone-Else "Outburst"

Sounds like a good time, huh? Like I said, this has been going on since Sunday afternoon, at which point I woke up with a headache that didn't respond to ANYTHING. If there's an OTC medicine or remedy out there, you name it, I've tried it - from heat, to ice, to Alleve, to Excedrin, to Tylenol, to Advil. And, for the record, there's some prescription strength stuff I've tried as well.

As I will put a "jolly" post up about it soon, you will see that Sunday was not a day I wanted to be "benched". It was our annual "Post Sons-of-Thunder Multi-Family Trip to Bullwinkles Family Fun Center". I ended up riding with Michele back to her house, then on up to Bullwinkles where we stayed for four hours, and then back to our home in John's vehicle. All told, that was about 8 hours of time, and sans about 30 minutes of "effort to be friendly" it was spent curled up in the vehicles' reclined seat trying to stay motionless. No Bumber Boats, Lazer Tag, or Go Carts for me, instead just some public throwing up for others to witness.

I saw Mom yesterday and she verified that I was really "messed up". She asked me if I'd hit my head recently and I remembered that I had hit it nice and hard when retrieving something under our boat in helping the guys pack Thursday night. Yes, it hurt and made me mad, but I forgot about it until she said something. I think the 90 minute massage on Friday kind of masked the issue - but now it's that spot on the head that's spread all over - along with the ever-existent knots in my neck. If you are a person who deals with chronic pain, I strongly urge you to read the article written by Susan May Warren in this post. She "nailed" my feelings right now.

In general, this ongoing headache stuff is just a part of life for me. Unless I'm caught up in a battle that I'm losing, I don't tend to be burdened by it or hopeless about the future of living with these sorts of issues for a lifetime. But, that's where I'm at right now.

Yesterday, after dropping Brayden off at his football conditioning (a bright note, if ever there's a week to be "off" this is the best week of the summer so far to be suffering as it's empty outside of the two days Brayden has his football workouts) - I heard Laura Story's song "Blessings" on the radio. That song has made me cry on numerous occasions, but in the past it's always been because I've been on the "other side" of those trials she talks about, or recognize others that the song embodies. My emotions have been ones of "Amen, Laura!" and "That Is So True and Beautiful". Yesterday, as the tears were flowing, they came from that place that was within the battle. These lyrics especially resonated within me:

"We pray for your mighty hand to ease our suffering"
"What if your healing comes through tears?"
"What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you're near?"

I recognize that 9 out of 10 of my blog posts are "happy". My life is exceptional and sometimes I feel bad even sharing things for fear others might feel like I'm bragging. But, priority one of this blog is the history of my family's life so I'm not going to record it differently for fear of offending others. But, the downfall of a happy life for a Christian is that sometimes you lack a need for God to accomplish what you can't on your own. And, you forget that this time is but a speck of the eternity we'll have in the presence of Him. So, of all the tears that fell in listening to that song, it was these lyrics that hit "home" the hardest:

"We know that pain reminds this heart that this is not, this is not our home"
"What if my greatest disappointments or the ACHING of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy"

1 comment:

stephietoo said...

I am so sorry. I am glad you are feeling better today, though. We so missed you on Sunday. It was a blessing in disguise, though, because it got me to do two things that I had never done before- ride go carts and play laser tag. Since you weren't able to do it with K-Bear, I had to. I had a blast. Can't wait until we can go again and you can partake. Love you!