Monday, June 15, 2009

In Sickness and In Health

Before I got married, I always thought that that particular line in marriage vows was a little unnecessary. Of course I'll love my spouse in sickness and in health.....and thoughts of playing Scrabble and sharing chicken noodle soup together filled my romantic fairy tale dreams.

However, as time and years of marriage have progressed, I've realized there is a reason we make those vows. Sickness can be a terrible foe. Be it disease, depression, constant pain, or allergies - putting up with someone who doesn't feel good is not easy. Nor is it easy to be the person not feeling good.

Part of the reason this can be so tough is that folks handle being sick so differently. Some of us do NOT like to be coddled. Honestly, that was one of my least favorite parts of being pregnant. Folks feel they have the right to caution you constantly, treat you differently and with more care when you are expecting. It was such a relief to have it just be "me" again after I had the kids so I'd get less "be careful" attention. Certainly, I appreciate the kids being taken care of, occasionally an ice pack or "bowl" brought to me - and perhaps a remote control by my side, but that's about it. Pretty much just let me get through it, folks, and I'll be okay.

However, I've found that my husband enjoys a little more attention. He was sick this weekend with a nasty head cold he picked up on his business trip. He spent most of his day yesterday asleep on the couch. I thought I was being sensitive enough, but as we had dinner last night with his mom - and teased him about his "Debbie Downer" expression, it opened up the ongoing issue in our marriage that I am just not nice enough to him when he's sick. I have my own rebuttal, but that's not so much the point. If he's my life partner, and I've said these vows, I ought to probably try a little harder to make him feel honored. Hmmmm, hope this cold gets better fast!

And, to end this on a nice positive note - a sweet pic of the kids with their grandma:


sara said...

LOL!!! I really had to laugh as I read this one, because I think as wives we have all been there!!! A month ago or so, both of my men got the throw ups at the same time...I took care of them, helped when I could, made homemade soup, etc. as they got better, I got it...only worse. Now, I don't like to be coddle when I am sick, BUT they all went back to their business and left me home alone to fend for myself....hmmmmm!

StephieAnne said...

Oh Sara, you poor thing. I would have taken care of you!

Lois Lane II said...

Oh my gosh, I totally feel you!! My husband and I are not really good caregivers, mainly because neither of us wants to BE sick when we are sick. We're like, "Whateva. I can have a pizza...go to the store...have a party..." LOL. We are fairly bad patients...I dread the day our future kids get sick, haha!!!