Sunday, April 11, 2010

Really Excellent Roommates

Yesterday, we went to see "Date Night" - featuring Steve Carrell and Tina Fey (sans kids, but with the Whites). While I can't say it's rated "G", and some who read this blog might find themselves offended by a few choice words or scenes of "risque-ness", John and I (and Travis and Steph) found it absolutely hilarious! We loved it. We laughed a lot, and if there's ever a movie I'd recommend to a couple that's been married a while to go out and see as a "date night" - it would be "Date Night".

If you've seen the previews, the whole story of the movie is about a couple (the lead actors) who have been married a while, are stuck in a rut (according to the rest of the world's views) - and decide to shake things up a bit by a date night in the "city" (NYC). The rest you'll just have to see for yourselves. However, I will divulge that the title of this post refers to a quote in the movie describing one of the reasons a couple in the movie gives as to why they've chosen to no longer stay married. Essentially, they are sad that they're relationship has evolved into being just "really excellent roommates".

On April 27th, John and I will have been married 14 years. I can honestly tell you that our relationship looks nothing like it did in July of 1995. Back then, it was the fodder for Taylor Swift songs - especially the song "You Belong with Me". (If that was playing back then, I'd have watched the video constantly, hoping John would have finally figured it out....). Those were the days of twittering heartbeats, and butterflies in the stomach. When a look from his eyes made me melt - made me feel so vulnerable, so ecstatic, so "living the fairy tale".

It's not like that now. But, I'm also adamant that we aren't just really excellent roommates either. Over the years, our relationship has gone from Romeo and Juliet to partners in life. When he looks at me now, I see SECURITY, CONTENTMENT, secrets shared, and know, the kind of laughter that happens when you've revealed everything to someone else and even the most intimate moments aren't taboo to break into a huge smile and giggle and think, "how did we get here, pretending to be grown-ups, having children already at ages 8 and 11?"

I don't second-guess whether he loves me, or if I'll get a ring and when, if his "feelings have changed", or if I'm still good enough for him. All that's over, done, gone when we said, "I do". Now, I do second guess which battle to engage in, how much I'm delivering his love languages, and whether or not I've shared the "calendar for the week" with him - but never if we aren't truly each others' life mates.

While I watch these college friends go through the thrills and agonies of falling in love, instead of envy - I find myself head over heals for all of the memories of that like "love story" which we shared 14 years ago, but much more than that- so incredibly thankful that John and I are in a place so much more abundant and satisfying - and not just being "really excellent roommates".


Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree more lover!

You complete me.

You make me a better man, and my life is truly one of fulfillment and complete contentment. It's not perfect, yet it's what God intended for both of us.


To need and rely one another, assisting one another, completing one another, feeding one another with love. When we fight, trying to see the other's point of view quicker than we did 14 years ago.

From the never ending tough days to the blissful vacations - Orlando just around the corner :), to diet coke, to cozy breakfast mornings, to being quiet sitting on the couch watching Lost and Chuck, to raising our kids together, planning fun outings in Lake Oswego at FairField Inn a couple times a year.......You are EVERYTHING to me.

The scripture says it best. "You are my joy and my crown".

I love you more than ever!


sara said...

Ok, not only was the post was your husband's comment!!!

With satan attacking so many marriages around me, I love seeing (reading) one that has got it's armor up!!

After spending this weekend with my husband....I couldn't agree with you more! though I don't like seeing my kids grow up and move out....I am excited for empty nest!!! :)

cjoy said...

I totall get that...over 12 years into my marriage and I love my husband and our relationship more than ever....and I agree - your husband's comment was beautiful!

Linda said...

what an awesome post stephanie! and what an incredible influence you have on those kids (all of them, college included) on what a good, true and loving marriage CAN be!