Wednesday, August 09, 2006

When Negative Is Positive......

I have never taken a pregnancy test when I didn't want to see two lines come up.... even when it was a little earlier than we wanted to start [having a family] and we took a test, there was a part of me that was disappointed to not see it come out positive. All of that changed, today, however - today I only wanted to see ONE line - and, I'm thankful to report that was the case.

It's been a funny month of birth control. Not to give out too much information, but between migraines that have sent me to bed early, and forgetting when I was at Michele's house, I've been probably the least consistent in taking my pills each night than ever before. And, on the flip side, John's been a pretty happy man this month. Add the two together, and being two days late when I'm never late..... well, I was starting to get a little worried. Throw in irritability and a couple of other symptoms, and panic started to set in. And, you know what that tells me - I can officially say, we're ready to be done- we're good to go as a family of four.

This is a big statement for me. Throughout my whole pregnancy with Mikayla, I was pretty certain I'd be doing it again. But, after we had her, this contentment settled over us, and we thought, "All is Well". Still, there's always that doubt, should we, shouldn't we, hmmmm. As time has gone on, we've become more certain, but still there's been moments that have had me wondering. Even the kids are happy the way it is, which is a bit surprising, but I am very thankful for it. So, when days have gone by and this question has come over me, "Could I be pregnant?" - and overwhelmingly, I wanted the answer to be NO (but have told myself that if that were to happen, that's God will and we would be thankful....) I think, once and for all, I'm ready for us to make this permanent. I love our family of four......

3 comments:

LiteraryGirl said...

I've been there. Not to recently I had a "scare" also and I was almost sick thinking about it being positive. It was all the more reassurance that I am not wanting to do it all over again. Time for the snip snip, I say.

stephietoo said...

NOOOOO, don't do this to me, Stephie! I want another baby!!! I am so sad... You know Travis and I are never going to have a baby (Bogey is quite enough, thank you). Well, I am glad it was not positive (selfishly I am not glad, though).

Love you and miss you so very much!

Colie said...

I can imagine this feeling being a good one! Now, you are not in limbo and you can go on without the question looming in the back of your mind. I really thought you and Michele would have the same number. I guess I'm not God and cannot predict the future:-). Imagine that.