Monday, November 12, 2007

A Little Rant Session

My nerves are a bit raw right now, so bear with me. Just a few moments ago, Brayden came in announcing that he spilled his entire bowl of grape nuts all over the floor (with milk) and didn't know how to clean it up. We had a little discussion about it being either him or myself that had to to do the hard work - so, he better get on it. Then, I walk in to find he's virtually incompetent and I find myself getting resentful thinking, "I might as well just do it myself".

I don't think I necessarily walk around with a chip on my shoulder, but that sentiment quoted above does rear it's ugly head in various places in my life. I tend to be someone who likes order, control, planning, and organization (at least in certain areas), so when I find myself in scenarios where there's something that needs to be done, and it's not being done right (or at all), I get this nasty little voice in my head screaming, "Can't anybody else handle this sort of stuff? Why does it have to be me? I guess if I don't set it up it will never get done!" And, then, I begrudgingly attempt to handle the task. Nasty, huh?

However, I think there is a part of me that gravitates towards these situations because, deep down, I like to be the one in charge. I like things the way I like them, and perhaps, it is actually more preferred for me to take care of all of the details and chores to have things the time I want them, the way I want them, and in my own comfortable fashion.

I mention all of this right now, when, after reading the 10 emails in my inbox I discover that on Friday, November 30th, everything is hitting the fan. (It's a Monday, Michele just reminded me). All these extra-curricular activities that we have carefully scheduled the kids to a be a part of are all converging simultaneously. Brayden has an indoor soccer game, and now, apparently a cast party for the musical he's in. Mikayla has a dress reahearsal for the Choir concert she'll be performing in at the same time. And, then, to top it off, we, along with the Whites, Schillings, and Mom and Dad will be attending the Camp Harlow Auction (adults only). So, I am clueless how all of this is going to work out. See, there you go - I'm not in charge of planning it all and this is what happens.....

Forgive the attitude, once again - it has been a splendid weekend. I have got so much accomplished in Christmas planning, read great books, and have watched the Ducks announced as #2 in the nation. But, as I have mentioned in the past, when I do to much selfish lounging, I can end up being very self-centered and not at all very godly - so, there you have it.

Thanks for letting me rant.....


Riles said...

I love you for exactly who you are honey!

HollieHobbie said...

oh my goodness-I feel like this all the time! Way to go putting it into words. I say often "am I the only one who doesn't step over this (toy, book, sock....)"
I usually just give up though and just go eat a cookie or two.

StephieAnne said...

Thanks for the encouragement, Hollie - and for me, it's leftover Halloween candy-