Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Conflicted

I spent a big chunk of yesterday really bothered. It stemmed from disagreeing with a couple of decisions/points of view of other people - and I think some of my biggest irritation is that it bothered me that it bothered me so much!

Why do I get so worked up about certain things? In my effort to prove another's point of view is wrong, I puff up my own righteousness (at least in my mind), and of course, disqualify the other person's righteousness - thus eliminating their claim to the "right answer". The good news is, NOW, this whole scene just plays out in my mind - and I'm able to recognize it is wrong - very wrong. But, it nags, it aches - and it reminds me when I wake up in the morning that something is still off.

So, now, how to proceed? Do I share my opinions directly (knowing they won't be received - as I've gone down that path before), or do I share my concerns with someone who might have the opportunity to make change happen. Do I defend my position strongly, daring to potentially offend, or do I encourage grace and restoration?

Ultimately, this morning, it hit me that I've been in these positions before. (Thankfully, not for a while). And, while Christians may find lots of things to argue about - those who claim they are following the Lord, are unable to argue with the clear commands God has given us. So, if I make sure that's what my heart and mind are dwelling upon - then, if or when a time comes to communicate, the words should be communicated from a basis of love. There's not a lot of gray area in the Bible about choosing NOT to love one another...pretty much, it's not a choice. So, I need to work on my own heart before I start fighting any other battles.

5 comments:

sara said...

well said.

j.nelson said...

i love you

the end.

JustMe said...

:) Totally with ya on all that. I find I very often regret things I say and write when I'm upset, but never the things I DON'T say and write. I'm really working on making myself take at least 24 hours to respond to someone who upsets me....that knee-jerk reaction never comes from a Godly place, with me. And it gives God time to speak a little wisdom to me, which usually consists of, "Don't say anything at all unless you are provoked and even then speak in love." Dang, but Lord, I had so many great one liners to put them in their place! I get so worked up over every disagreement and feel so silly, like you, that I let myself react like that and take opinions so personally. I just have to keep taking it back to God and say, "YOU take it. YOU handle it. YOU do what's just. I will trust you." So hard!!

StephieAnne said...

Omigosh, Heather - your comment has been the story of my day. Releasing the situation to the Holy Spirit and seeing what He has in mind - including, but not limited to: searching my own heart to determine where I might have erred, seeking the advice of Godly council which turned into a conversation that was so rich, and simply learning the lessons that only happen in adversity.

StephieAnne said...
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