When I was thinking of questions for the week, I thought about asking for a song title that best describes your place in life right now (do think about that one because it might just come up). The song title that came immediately to mind for me is the title of this post. A song I love - had at our wedding - and think about and sing all the time. The title alone speaks to how I feel about my life right now - I'm in summer as far as the year goes, and in a summer season of my life.
So, why does my mind not feel that way right now? I'm getting plenty of that endorphin-releasing Vitamin D sunlight from the sun, I have wonderful people surrounding me on a daily basis, the summer has just enough scheduling that I don't feel like I'm dangling on some abyss of boredom for two more months.... What is it?
I know this is going to change the subject a bit, but bear with me. I read in the paper last week about the relationship they are finding between weight gain and stress. Apparenlty, they conducted experiments on mice and if you fed a mouse junk food AND combine it with a series of high-stress situations (standing in cold water for an hour or being put in a cage for 10 minutes with an ALPHA mouse), the mouse gained much more weight - and the wrong kind of weight (full of nasty hormones and settling in right around the abdomen) than the mice who just ate the junk food. Isn't that interesting? To me, it explains why certain people might have a very difficult time losing weight who are struggling with so many other problems simultaneously. Even more, though, it tells me, once again, how detrimental stress is on the body.
And, I am believing that that very stress is going through a cycle in me. I was worked up for the run, tore myself down physically a bit after it (battled heat exhaustion headache all day), got quite antsy about a doctor appointment that ended up being exactly as easy as I thought it would be (I have a weak stomach lining which causes a lot of pain if I eat the wrong kind of foods.....), and then, yesterday, got myself too heated as well and nearly passed out. I think I've pointed out in previous posts that health issues are a weakness of mine. For many years, with the help of medicine and answered prayers, it's been kind of a non-existent issue for me. However, right now, I feel like my body is messing with me because it is feeling physically stressed. I, therefore, freak out internally about why it is freaking out physically - and get emotionally stressed out. And, then, my body reacts strongly to that and I have these sudden adrenalin rushes that freak me out even more. The end result, I am on edge, feel like crying, and can't figure out why in the world I feel this way - which makes me feel even worse. Has anybody else ever been there?
So, I think by admitting all of this to you all, as well as John and Michele - I'm already getting better. SO, SO, SO much of it is an emotional decision, but not all - which I have already addressed. In these times, it is an exciting thing to see how God acts, how He delivers, and it's a fresh time again to just trust in Him. Case in point, the Christian fiction book I picked up this weekend involves a soccer mom who must suddenly face an enemy that physically poisons by the words he suggests that mislead, manipulate, and direct her into believing in lies. Hmmmmm, how interesting that I happened to start reading just that book without knowing its content. Also, this from today's reading in the MESSAGE from Ecclesiastes 7: "On a good day, enjoy yourself; On a bad day, examine your conscience. God arranges for both kinds of days so that we won't take anything for granted." Yeah, that speaks to me.
So, quoting from the song - "Cause there are questions without answers, flames that never die, and heartaches we go through are often blessings in disguise - so thank you Lord, how could I ask for more......"