There's little about this month that I enjoy. At least it's nothing new, and the familiarity of going through this "same old, same old" is somewhat comforting. If my body is constantly cold, my emotions are oddly apathetic, and I feel no desire to really do anything beyond read and take baths - it's somewhat normal - at least for January. I really am kind of a different person this time of year, it's as if the pace I keep from June through December comes to a GRINDING HALT...
As I find myself in my "split personality", John merrily goes about life as normal as can be. As do the kids. Meanwhile, when they look at me as if I've lost my marbles, I want to just say, "Duh, it's January - don't you get it?"
As bothersome this is to John, I think it's especially a bummer for him as it is his birthday month. He doesn't like it that I think "it's the worst time of the year" - he's ready to celebrate. It took a lot of thought on my part to come up with something to do with him that would not cost a fortune, would be big enough to accommodate 40 or so people, and would be entertaining in such a way that John would be happy and I would be willing to host and participate in the activity! After I'd given him my run-down of ideas (a very limited list) - he responded, "Can't we just play 'Bunco'? Like at the Meyers?" And, wouldn't you know it, but Amy just then chose that moment to call, ask about John's birthday, and volunteer her house when I mentioned Bunco. I guess it was meant to be. I went ahead and sent out an Evite considering few people would happen to have that Saturday night free the weekend of his birthday. But, what do you know, but most folks are responding with a "Yes". John is DELIGHTED, and I'm so glad it's all working out.
Because, my honey deserves it. I'm aware all of the time just how blessed I am, but a few circumstances just this week proved it that much more:
Last weekend, while we were at Target, the kids were acting a little crazy. (Pretty much what I'm used to when they are together when we shop). John pulled them aside to give them a pep talk, while I walked ahead to look for an item. The employee around the corner asked if that gentleman talking to the kids was my husband. I said yes, and she said, "Wow, what an amazing Dad he seems to be. I wish someone would talk to my kids like that, they never behave when we go home shopping!" I nodded in agreement, and thought, "Yup, he's pretty amazing".
Then, yesterday, he talked with a fitness coordinator at a local Fitness Center. He's been negotiating to find a trainer that will work with him to get him back into the shape he wants to be. However, he made it clear to the coordinator, that while he doesn't want to discriminate, he is a happily married man who wants to honor his wife and his marriage, and would really prefer to not be working with a woman who would in anyway put that in jeopardy. He phrased it much better than I did just now, but the coordinator was so impressed. She completely understood, had just the person in mind, and said she'd never had a male request such a thing and how much integrity that demonstrated. Once again, that's my man - I'm a lucky gal.
So, for all these reasons and OH SO MANY MORE, I'll at least try to kick myself in the butt for the few hours we get to interact in the evening and on the weekends. John deserves better than my January personality (as do the kids), so I'll fake it until I make it - or until the beginning or so of March.......