Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Running on Fumes

First of all - major oversight on my part. When I posted about "High School Musical on Stage" I forget about mentioning why we got to go in the first place. Thank you Uncle Jeff and Aunt Laura! As a Christmas present they had gotten us tickets to a play that ended up getting cancelled. So, this is the performance we chose to watch as a family instead. I feel like a big dufus for not giving thanks for that earlier.

I think it was just about a year ago that I submitted a post about recognizing my need for "alone time" to rejuvinate. It was on a Saturday where John took off for a "day camping experience" and I cleaned house - re-organizing my living space as well as my thoughts. Funny how sometimes things become so "seasonal" - or in this case, annual. Because, I am in desperate need of alone time right now.

As the title points out, I feel like I'm running on fumes when it comes to my interactions with other people right now. I feel completely, socially, run-down and in no way "authentic" when speaking to people. This evening, at church, greeting people was truly a chore for me, there's just nothing left to give out.

This is all fantastic timing as we have a group camp-out beginning tomorrow and John's reunion Saturday night. I better resurrect some extrovert reserves pretty darn quick.....In the meantime, I'll rely on sugar, caffeine, ample sleep, and the beauty of nature to offer their mecidinal therapies, and hopefully, be a pleasant person to be around.

I need to reiterate that this is just a "me thing" and not a red flag for me being depressed or in a big fight with anyone - it's just as I described last year, I'm more introvert in nature and eventually, without some good "down time" I'm going to wear out. I think the recent posts have made it clear that that has not been happening lately (down time). In fact, one of my favorite moments this week was simply watching "Kyle XY" with John (fun show). We haven't sat and watched tv together in the evening in a while, and it was comforting to me to return to that normalcy with him - and I've found myself wishing that's all we could do again. But, alas, it is the height of summer, with many weekday and weekend demands - almost all promising fun and festivity. So, "get over it, Steph", be thankful for the wonderful people that surround you, and pray that Sunday John might feel the desire to take the kids solo to the "picnic" aspect of his reunion so I can finally get my day of refreshment........


HollieHobbie said...

oh do I ever hear you! "They" say that if a woman cannot take care of herself first then she cannot take care of those around her. Good luck on your day of rejuvenating. GIve us details to inspire us! I need a day...a weekend....a week!

JustMe said...

Steph, I totally get you. On Monday I called in sick to work (I did have a tiny sore throat and was coming down with a cold) but it was more like I needed a break from EVERYTHING. From the daily grind of the places I have to be at certain times, the "breaks" from kids that come and go at random times and seem to just leave me with an hour here and there, the giant pile of laundry (Rachel had about 4 nights in a row of wetting the bed) I couldn't seem to catch up on....every few months I just need ONE DAY to myself and it usually comes in the form of somebody's sickness. I finished a good book, watched "An Unfinished Life" (really good movie), caught up on laundry, mowed the backyard, made those silly phone calls, petted the dog. It was heavenly and just what the doctor ordered.

I hope you get the time you need and spend it however it best feeds your soul...even if it means sitting in a lawn chair staring into space for two hours. :)

Stephietoo said...

Gosh, if you were getting that sick of me, you could have just told me instead of telling the whole blogging world! :o)~ Just kidding!

I totally know you, and I have been wondering about this. You have been on "HIGH; GO" mode all summer and I was wondering when you were going to hit the wall. I hope you get some time to yourself soon. Maybe you can take a little 'alone' time when you are camping and sit in the sun and read when people are out on the boats, hiking, or just playing? Whatever the case may be, you just need to take some time for yourself.

I miss you!
Love, Stephie

YaYa said...

I'm so sorry. It seems to happen to all of us - that need to stop and put ourselves back together again. And yes, perhaps it is seasonal. Wish I had some great advice, but I don't. Think I'm in the same place.

So...Didn't you talk about putting your blog in book form a while back? I have a friend whose daughter is taking a year off and visiting and participating with missionary friends all over the world. She has a blog and was intrigued with the book idea. Could you or someone email me ( the information about that at your convenience? Thanks!

Have fun and find a quiet moment to yourself!