Have you ever been in the process of doing something and realized, "I shouldn't be saying/doing/reading this....I need to stop now...." but the sin overcomes you and you do it anyway- only with severe regret eminent.
That has happened to me on multiple occassions - often with quite dire consequences. I remember, this time of year, 5 years ago when I was suffering from delayed onset post-partum physical and emotional symptoms. These symptoms led me to the doctor to have him run blood tests as I was really struggling to feel "normal" and not tired and bombarded with all sorts of funky problems. (In hindsight, perhaps the 24 ounces of milk I was able to pump in one setting - that apparently my son was able to consume in earnest, might have been sapping my body just a little......). Anyway, when the doctor mentioned a few very unlikely diseases, such as lupus, leukemia, and rheumatoid arthritis, I just about died right there. That afternoon, I was at Barnes and Noble and started looking such things up in the medical dictionary. I knew I shouldn't, but I did anyway. I literally began sweating, recognizing the symptoms to leukemia matched my current symptoms to a T. Add to the whole scenario, I was quite the chronic worrier.... it was BAD news for me. I cried a lot that week, and was so praising God in wonder when the doctor FINALLY called back and said I didn't even test positive for anemia. I knew I should have never read that book, but I couldn't stop myself.
So, last night - a similar situation occurred, however, this time the consequences only affect my entertainment satisfaction. I, and many of my closest friends, are AVID "Lost" fans. Lisa and I have been talking daily about "what's in the hatch" and what the heck the answer to all of the riddles are. WHAT'S IN THE HATCH CAN BE DESCRIBED BY TWO WORDS - ONE IS A THREE LETTER WORD, WITH THE FIRST AND LAST LETTER NEXT TO EACH OTHER IN THE ALPHABET. THE OTHER WORD IS SEVEN LETTERS BEGINNING AND ENDING WITH THE SAME LETTER. So, as I've fallen asleep over the last couple of weeks, I've been consumed with trying to figure out at least the first clue....here's some of my attempts:
FOG - I hope we haven't been waiting all this time for a weather machine....
FOE - Safe to say there is probably an enemy of some sort, but that's too obvious
ELF - Say it aint so.... Lisa and I agreed we'd probably stop tuning in if it turns out the hatch is the entrance to the North Pole where you'll find toy factories and maybe the big man himself (however, that could explain the polar bear...)
So, I didn't get very far. Then, yesterday, I logged on to a LOST fan bulletin board, planning on just reading a few others' attempts at deciphering clues. Before I knew it, I had linked to a site that pretty much spelled out the ENTIRE first episode - revealing what was in the hatch and why he knew for a fact that this was legitimate information. I couldn't stop myself from reading, though I knew I should. The episode sounded fantastic, but as Lisa suggested (who, on her own, had found the very same information), it was like finding your hidden Christmas presents a week early and opening them by yourself. It wasn't meant to be that way, but it's my own darn fault. I'll watch next Wednesday with interest, of course, but it will be like watching a football game in which you already know the outcome and the score... just not the same.
And, I did it to myself. Why couldn't I just stop reading......