Saturday, November 03, 2012

It May Be the Season of Autumn, but It Is Summer in My Soul

When it comes to my general attitude/spirit - I am seasonal bi-polar.  There.  I said it.  I feel so much better with that confession out in the open.

Okay, if you've read any of my posts on a consistent year-long basis you already knew that.  No new revelation.

If you are to start with January that would show my seasonal attitude to be at a 1.  You could say it's a slow rise through those dead winter months rising to about a 5 or 6 if May has sunshine, or plummeting accordingly if we are finally to May and it's still gray and raining in Oregon.

By Fourth of July (when, those of us who are Oregonians know that summer has finally begun), I'm at least an 8.  Life is stellar - sunshine is out, lots and lots of fun to be had in the summer.

Then the leaves start falling - and my number keeps rising, because there is SO MUCH for me to love this time of year.  I'm literally on a giddy-streak when it comes to seasonal attitude.

By November 1st, the day I turn my Christmas music favorites on, the tears are falling along with the leaves.  I feel so blessed this time of year, because it's not so much the circumstantial sunshine (which is gone by now in Oregon), but rather the reflection of ALL I HAVE TO BE THANKFUL FOR.

My family, my traditions, surrounded by so many people I love (who love me back!), holiday festivities, kids that likewise ADORE these festivities and this time of year, a new treasure in my life who's name is Whitley, and of course, the seasonal reminder of the greatest gift I - and all of mankind - has ever been given in the form of an infant born in a manger.

So, it is with a share of sadness that I also mention in this post, that for a big number of people in my life, this is not a a happy time.  This week has perhaps been the most concentrated week of painful conversations among folks I've hung out with in terms of garbage they are going through.  Satan has had an agenda in these people's lives - going for the jugular.  In classic Halloween week fashion, he has literally haunted these people's hearts with memories of times of despair.  Memories of painful deceit they've faced in the past, of people hurting them both physically and emotionally.  It's heartbreaking, but through it all, I've seen victory in these friends.  It is a week of full-on BATTLE for the win - and it's been a nasty fight.  But, they've succeeded, and I'm so proud of each of them and still praying fervently for them.

When it was my turn for prayer requests Thursday night, I shared my heart - that one moment I can be tearful in joyfulness for all of the blessings I'm experiencing in life, and the next moment, I'm yelling at my kids, saying very unkind things about coaches or teachers, and forgetting to take pictures on Halloween because I'm so spent with taking on too much.  This season is my favorite by far, but it is so fragile.  While the assaults on these friends of mine are so obvious, the attacks Satan knows he can use on me right now is far more subtle.  Fill her schedule with way too much (even if it's good stuff),  Prevent her from getting "refueled" (whether that's alone time or people who feed me),  keep her so busy and distracted she's not absorbing all she has to be thankful for.  Have her wake up hurting with a headache....nothing messes up perspective like pain.  Give her some random "extra junk" to take care of that will be received with bitterness because it's getting in the way of everything else.

Oh, I know the tactics.  I know what has led to a "loss" for me in the past.   So, in the spirit of another part of this season I adore (FOOTBALL!), I'm going to quote Chip Kelly again..."Win the Day" - or in my case, "Win the Season". 


Tiffany said...

I love you my friend...:)

StephieAnne said...

I love you too, Tiffany!