If I Appear Stuck Up....

Did you know that your head weighs between ten and thirteen pounds? That is roughly the weight of a bowling ball (at least the size I use..). Now, consider, if your head is constantly leaned forward, the muscles in your neck are having to hold it there, straining to carry a bowling ball off balance. Sound uncomfortable? It can be, especially when you've been doing it for a while.

All of this has been lectured to me by my recent visits with the physical therapist. They've taught me how I should be carrying my head - hence the title of this entry- and the damage that occurs when you've been doing otherwise. It's been very enlightening and actually, quite healing - especially when it comes to the frequent headaches I've been experiencing since the accident. Along with the information I've gained, I've been privileged with all sorts of fun exercises to get to do at home. In fact, Brayden, who has vision therapy exercises, and myself - share a star chart. How cool...

Beyond the posture adjustments, new pillow (my sleep has not been very happy lately in trying to get used to it...), and exercises- the hardest thing I've found in this experience has been pain assessment. Multiple times throughout each session I'll be asked to indicate if I have real "pain" - or is it just a stretch or pulling. And, if it is pain, on a scale of 1-10 - where am I at? Does anyone else struggle trying to determine how bad they hurt? Certainly labor with Brayden and the "ring of fire" with Mikayla would be a "10", but how about the 5 hours I laid in bed, ready to throw up with a migraine, just waiting for sleep? Or, when you are used to taking Advil every day for the headache that's inevitable, but it's a way of life.... what is that pain number?

And, that's just physical... Can you imagine trying to assess emotional pain? What is the emotional pain number for a person who has just received a diagnosis for their child that they may have a lifetime disability? What is the emotional pain number for a person who is coming to terms with having a chronic illness - and never getting better? How about the person who longs for their spouse to make a change, and has no power to make it happen on their own?

Pain; trying to define it requires such a huge equation. Is there hope that it will change? Is it constant in your life? Is there a way to make it lessen? Can you even determine why it's there? All of those questions make a difference for me. And, also, for me, knowing that there is One that has went through it before, who hears my prayers, and has a bigger plan than I can see makes it endurable.

Currently, my physical pain level is quite low. I have a stiff neck and turn my head kind of funny, but the headaches are getting so much better. My emotional status could be better (man, I'd really be excited for more than 24 hours of sunshine), but in comparison to other folks in my life, it's pretty darn low too. I think there's a certain absorbing of pain that we do for those that we love, though. It wouldn't be love if we didn't, I suppose. To my friends and family who are in pain, know that I'm praying, and I hope those assessment numbers keep going down....

And, remember, don't slouch.....