Monday, February 06, 2012

The Party That I Hosted but Didn't Attend

Superbowl 46!  Woo hoo!  For the third year in a row, we had Heather and Kaela take over the social reigns in putting out the invites to create an environment ready to party...

Where the pumpkin-carving party is primarily aimed to the college students, this event is primarily aimed to those out of college - that 20's age group that often gets lost in the mix.

We decided to repeat last year's offerings of Mexican fare.  Taco meat is an easy one to keep warm in the crock pots, making it ideal for the kind of party where folks will be grazing for hours on end.  Based on these tables, it's that lots of extra food was brought by all the folks that came to visit. 

This picture was taken during the first half - when not everyone had even shown up yet!

At halftime, it was time for some football.  It's the biggest street game we've ever had, that is for sure!

The view post half-time.  Nope, not an inch of carpet to spare - I think we definitely exceeded the capacity in our home (all told, John counted 42 people that came)!

Suzie's husband, Lance, guessed the score of the game PERFECTLY!  Way to go Lance (he also caught the winning touchdown in the halftime game!)

Nice T-bow pose, Brayden....these folks were the last of the crew to leave.

So, what you didn't see in any of these pictures - was a picture of me.  There's a reason for that.  I was in the bedroom lying as still as possible.  The headache that I'd been battling since Tuesday, decided to pull out its full arsenal and literally wiped me out.   Kaela arrived early, and I'd hoped to just disappear in the bedroom and wake up about 15 minutes before party start time (2pm) - leaving her and the family with the minimal last minute chores left over.  However, after taking a mini nap and then getting up to get dressed up, it quickly became clear with the shaky hands and nauseousness, that this wasn't going to work.  My one hold-out for hope was that I'd called Mom earlier to see if she could stop by after the movie her and Dad went to watch.  She did show up around 3, and for sure, helped the situation, but by then, my body was so far gone in terms of pain overload that I didn't stand a chance at quick recovery.  I know it pained Mom to see me like that....I so hate inconveniencing her life to run to my rescue - and yet, I know she'd do it in a heartbeat.  I just wish it wasn't necessary.

By about 9pm, I'd dozed just enough to recognize that I'd wake up the next morning feeling significantly better.  I'd conquered the worst of it.  Honestly, this week (culminating in the total despair that was yesterday) had really taken its toll.  I was able to keep the issue at bay through most of the week with medicine and ice, but that's a bit like a victim being given a restraining order from an attacker.  Theoretically, you know its not supposed to "get you", but the haunting of it being "just around the corner" is always there.  (Not to mention, often the medicine just doesn't do the trick).  One of the best pieces I've read regarding physical pain was posted here.  It just isn't a whole lot of fun.

Fortunately, I saw Mom again this morning, and I'm doing SIGNIFICANTLY better.  Thank you, Lord.  Yesterday, I really succumbed to the fear of the what-ifs, the how longs, the how oftens.  If I'd even had the ability or energy to cry, I would have done a lot of it - instead it was a lot of stillness.  A lot of thinking.  A lot of listening to raucous laughter - which is just what I wanted, but a constant reminder of what was being robbed of me - and how many moments of my future would also be robbed.

God doesn't give us what we need to handle for the future, he just promises it in the moment.  He got me through yesterday, and I need to trust He'll get me through anything else much worse than that in the future.  However, I do have a new determination to pick up those physical therapy exercises and see if I can't regain some control over this demon.  Something's gotta give, and I'm determined it's not going to be my future attendance at the very party I'm supposed to host....


Neha said...

Hey, are you alright? This post has me concerned. I have been following you only since recently and don't know much. What kind of pain? Hope you feel better. Love and prayers

StephieAnne said...

Thank you Neha! I am doing a lot better. I get a lot of headaches that occasionally turn in to full on migraine symptoms - all a result of a car accident I was in 7 years ago. My mom is a massage therapist, so she keeps me put together, thank God...but it gets me down when the headaches are consistent over any given period of time, and keep me from doing exercise or other kinds of activities for fear of getting them. Thank you again for asking, that blesses my heart!

sara said...

oh Steph, so sorry to hear this one got so bad! And sorry you missed what looks like a fun party.

But I am glad you have your mom!!!

praying for you friend.