From Chaos to Order

There's been some "heaviness" on my heart lately.  Some of it will be a matter of processing and just letting God do His work over time.  But, some of it, has been able to "fixed" this week.

I'm definitely a person influenced by my surroundings, and let's face it - they've kind of been filled with chaos lately.  And, a lot of that is now a done deal.

Christmas Decor put away:  Check!

Some new items added to "warm up January":  Check!

Bills paid:  Check!

Laundry caught up: Check!  (Well, for this moment...you know that lasts only like five minutes)

Next year's Sunriver Vacation reserved:  Check!  (This was a big bummer when we realized last Sunday that our previous rented home was already reserved by someone else during our stay time.  Seriously!  Lost it by a couple of days.....and so began the search for a home to fit all of our many, many (increasing over the years) specific desires to accommodate our group perfectly.  I think we nailed it!)

So, things have kind of turned around for my attitude.  Thank you Lord.  The day it all changed happened after a particularly sad and restless night that involved tears.  And, then, I got a phone call from a friend who was also in tears, asking if my Seasonal Affective Disorder was worse than usual this year.  UH, YEAH!!!!  Sometimes, all it takes to improve is to realize how not alone you really are in how you feel.

Which, leads me back again to my Thursday Night Life Group.  Oh my, what a remarkable group of women that group is - I'm just so honored to be a part of them, to experience life with them, and to literally hold hands through the burdens and highlights this life here on Earth has to offer.   (Pictures taken with Christi's baby Elsie - first with Darcy and then Brayden)

And, of course, it's been a good time with Whitley - hitting the play areas at the mall where she always makes a new friend or two, learning how to color, working on her shopping skills (two thumbs up for her enthusiasm at Real Deals, two thumbs down for her displeasure at shopping at the Woodburn Outlets), , and just her general cuteness!

Finally, really trying to work on that "heavy" that has more to do with the scales than my heart.  (Which does affect the heart-burden too....definitely an attitude influencer...).  The walks have been good and frequent, but we've been socked in fog for the last five days that doesn't rise our temps above the mid-30's - and that makes for a very chilly Whitley, especially when she has a habit of taking her shoes and socks off mid-walk (much less immediately shedding any blankets). 

So, we got the new Wii U version of Wii Fit (a Christmas gift delayed because of its release date) and I'm excited to give it a full whirl today.  Whitley kind of impeded my full progress of exploring the "activities" yesterday!

The "Just Keep Swimming" mantra is working...getting more towards a successful crawl stroke every day!

"Just Keep Swimming"

I feel that should be my new motto for January... "Just keep swimming" - as in what Dory says to Marlin regarding pressing on in their journey to find his son, Nemo.

I think the fact that I'm getting my first blog post up on January 9th should be evidence enough that my "swim" has been looking much more like treading water than it has a Michael Phelp's breast stroke.  I'm staying above water, but just barely.

Last week was easy enough.  We returned from Sunriver problem-free, reunited with John on New Year's Eve and after a dinner at Red Robin, I finally got to see "Frozen" all the way through.  While I'm not sure I could rate it above "Tangled", it's right up there with my all-time favorites.  I'm way impressed with "Miss Veronica Mars" in her role as Anna - who knew she could sing?!  I could probably spin a whole blog post about that movie alone - the various themes threading through it and how they could apply to my life, but let's just get through the first 9 days of 2014, shall we?

Mikayla and Brayden stayed up until Midnight together:

Michele, Traig, and Ellie arrived the next day.  Michael and Nati were off on their second annual hunting adventure - and yes, the shot an elk that first evening.  So impressive!

Michele and I set up a table in the living room and merrily decorated our "over-the-top" calendar planners with stickers and rub ons.  This decorated planner is kind of a trade-mark in both of our lives - dating as far back as high school.  Yes, a little obsessive, but it helps to organize my head and keeps me looking forward.  As we organized, we began watching the "Twilight" saga all the way through.  (Thank you Black Friday at Target for that $16 4-disk set...).  It was cozy, and kept me happily hibernating from reality.

Friday brought much the same.  Before any fun began, though, we needed to get Mikayla's ear checked out.  It was very painful for her and we suspected "Swimmer's Ear" as all of us who had been in the tub in Sunriver all suffered from some degree of skin rash from being in it.  Apparently, Swimmer's Ear often goes along with that.  Sure enough, that was the case, and a course of ear drop antibiotics were prescribed.  Following that, we went to see "Frozen" again (it gets better every time) for Ellie's benefit and had the Whites over that evening.  Good times.

Saturday was a little more of a stretch.  We had our first tournament for Mikayla's Webfoot volleyball.  We arrived around 7:15am and left at 5:15pm - so it was a very long day.  We were all pleased with how the team played, and especially with the coach who is very interactive with them and constantly providing feedback (which was not the case last year).  However, what was similar to last year was that their first game was their best game, and after narrowly losing that, they lost momentum.  Mikayla's ear started feeling lousy, the day just seemed to drag - and we all just wanted to be home.

Sunday brought the final day of rest for the family before reality would once again set in.  We took full advantage of it (along with the indulging before the diet kicks in...) ;)

So - that leads to this week.  And, yes, it's been a reality check.  It's been a "check-your-attitude-at-the-door", "other-people-have-it-worse-than-this", "but-really-why-does-it-have-to-be-this-hard" kind of week.

That could apply to:

- Exercising again - the elliptical and walking are not as easy as they once were
- The scales (did I expect anything different?  My gosh, on New Year's Eve I felt like the Pillsbury Dough Boy in a warming oven...just expanding everywhere!)
- Our finances - in the last three months, we've netted half of what we normally do.  That doesn't really cut it at bill paying time - especially with Christmas and a vacation thrown in.
- School.  Just even getting up for the kids has been hard, much less reflecting on the work that wasn't all turned in before Christmas ("Brayden, you big-time dropped the ball on that one") or just what Mikayla's math book is asking her to do.  I'm really not a fan.
- Health.  While I've been relatively free of headaches, John is still struggling with vertigo - and most likely, the medication for his Hypothyroidism isn't yet at the right dosage.  He's (thankfully) been able to work through it, but it's an added burden.  We also discovered Brayden has an extra bone plate on his chest.  That was on Tuesday and let me tell you, it almost sunk me.  Yeah, kind of lost my rhythm in the treading water at that point.  It's actually a condition called "Pectus carinatum" and is a totally benign scenario where the sternum sticks out a bit on one side.  You'd never notice if he was flexing his muscles and not trying to show you...but, I did notice on that evening, and kind of freaked.  An extra bone mass where it doesn't belong is a little alarming to discover on your child.  Thankfully, "Google Images" led me to the final conclusion, and once I found it, the Whites and Mom and Dad stepped up with their insight to give me assurances that it is NOT a problem.  (In fact, Dad has the same thing - and no one has ever commented on it - ever...).  The crazy thing, though, was that I had just ordered a book about ADHD in teens on his behalf and was already in the process of berating myself for coming down on Brayden in so many areas that were entirely by-products of this disorder.  And, then, something else....really?!

So, that's enough of a list to run with.  I'm thankful for Whitley being around that's preventing from just wallowing up in bed each day trying to escape.  But, I will say, on the flip side, Whitley keeps forward progress (at least in the physical arena) going at a snail's pace.  I'm not sure why, but she isn't a fan of quietly sitting with her toys while I race around the house to clean up or organize.  She's kind of "interactive" (as she's screaming at me to pick her up at this very moment!).  Consequently, the house is still "living in December" in terms of decor.  That will be Sunday.  I'm just grateful we got the tree down.

In conclusion - I am abundantly grateful for God's little ways of reminding me that He will not fail and there is light around the corner!

Sunriver 2013

Ah, Sunriver.  The place where I can carefully make my transition from Christmas and holiday euphoria to the realization that a new year has arrived - and along with it, lots of changes needed to be made.  But, while we're here, those are still abstract thoughts, not to be dwelt too much upon.  Instead, this is the time to dwell in all those things that embody the idea of a holiday vacation - particularly time spent with family (biological and "adopted") and R & R.

THIS YEAR SUNRIVER INCLUDED:

FOOD, BAKING, AND EATING:
(Even the wildlife appreciated this - as this morning, at 4am, Travis had to literally use a broom to try to deter aggressive raccoons from gorging themselves.  They favored the Chocolate Krinkles - fortunately the rest was salvaged.  The whole story made for great entertainment this morning!)

GAMES:
(Of the video game variety, board game variety, and air hockey variety)

HOT TUBBING:
(We were pleased to find a new hot tub installed this year - with lots of cool features.  However, we're not happy with how it held up with our family using it - lots of foam overload.  It's a salt water tub, so there was only so much we could do to try to fix the issue.  I promise...we were clean upon entering!)

SUNRISES VIEWED FROM THE HOT TUB:
(Every morning I saw the sun rise, with my Kindle, Russian Tea, and baked treats by my side - and sooner or later - Michele as well)

TIME AT SAGE SPRINGS SPA:
(This was one of my favorite years - a perfectly chosen book to read in the Coyote Tub, the perfect picnic lunch for the Serenity Room, and an excellent Pumpkin Spice Hot Stone Massage - one of the best I've had in Sunriver).

PRESENTS:
(this year, we abandoned the real tree and went with a Charlie Brown version purchased from JoAnn Fabrics - I thought I'd miss the real one more, but we're all pretty content, given the lack of real tree gives us more time in not having to decorate it - and takes up a lot less space!)

FAMILY TIME:
(Including a whole lot of play and cuddle time with Whitley - she's been absolutely DELIGHTFUL... and giving us lots and lots of joy as she snuggles in our lap eager to hijack whatever technology piece we have (computer, smart phone, or Kindle) to watch a Baby Einstein video =)  )

FOOTBALL VIEWING, MOVIE VIEWING, AND A WHOLE LOT OF READING:
(A shout out to the Ducks who just defeated Texas in the Alamo Bowl 30-7.  The Pac 12, so far, has represented well in their bowl games)

BOWLING AND SWIMMING AT THE SUNRIVER INDOOR POOL:
(our gratitude to Michael who took them to the pool....twice)

& CELEBRATING MIKAYLA'S12th BIRTHDAY.

WHAT SUNRIVER DID NOT INCLUDE THIS YEAR WAS:

SNOW:
(at least not much of it - and no precipitation.  Mikayla's expression spoke for all of us as she opened the group gift of a "Snowman Kit" knowing it wouldn't be used this year).

AN INCAPACITATING HEADACHE OR FAMILY MEMBERS FIGHTING ILLNESS:
(No picture needed, but this is a huge praise - last year was very bad in both capacities.)
(Belly aches from overeating not included!)

THE ENTIRE TRIP SPENT WITH JOHN:
=(
(He arrived by 8pm on Friday and left at 7am on Monday - so we definitely got some quality time, for which we are thankful.  We did what we could to make the best of the situation.)

****************************************************************************************************************

As Mikayla gets older and older (and likewise with Nati and Ellie), they openly demonstrate more and more of the feelings Michele and I have struggled with over the years in terms of disappointment over the "highs" being over, or expectations not being met.  What we've told them, and have to remind ourselves of, is:

1.) These feelings are huge expressions of just how blessed our lives really are to be able to have so many "positives" - to not only experience along the way, or compare to when we feel a bit let down.

2.) Any situations that didn't go completely as hoped for are just situations that can be learned from and improved upon the next time around.

3.) Just because it didn't turn out "perfect" does not mean all is lost - some of the most poignant memories are not formed from life rolling down the smooth and straight tracks.  It's a good thing to learn to bounce back from the obstacles or endure the rough patches, and still maintain a positive view of life.

4.) Anticipation is becoming a much more enticing thing for them too - and now they have a lot longer to look forward to and anticipate the fun of next year!  (Mikayla was in tears on the night of the 23rd saying, "It's all gone too fast" - with Ellie saying almost the same thing about our time here in Sunriver tonight).

5.) And, finally - and most importantly, any shortcoming of what we expect to have go "perfect" is just another reminder of how much we need the Lord to lean upon, trust in, and guide us through this life that will never, ever fully satisfy.


This truly has been a wonderful year in Sunriver - perhaps one of the best in terms of family harmony.  (Six adults and six kids in one house for 5 days can sometimes stir things up ;)  ).  But, I gotta admit, I'm already looking forward to what Sunriver 2014 will bring!  =)