Take a Deep Breath, "Mom"

That title is directed at me - yesterday was a bit of an "emotional mommy day" for me - I think one look at the pictures and you'll see why-

Yesterday was Mikayla's dance studio's "Spring Recital". So, we put her together to look eerily like a much-publicized child model that met a dire ending- (the costume was pre-chosen for us) and sent her on her way to the "green room", only to see her again when she appeared on stage. She did great. Fortunately, the 3 year old class went before her 4 year old class (age determined when she entered last fall), and compared to those sweet little things, Mikayla's class looked like pro's. Mikayla plastered a sweet smile on her face the whole time, avoided waving at us, and remembered most of her steps. Yeah. During the Act 1 Finale in which the younger kids came back to play an "act like an animal" game, Mikayla clearly had a blast. There's nothing better to see a child so happy- I was so delighted to have Mom and Dad, Stephie, Amy and Christina, and Erica there (Lisa sweetly forfeited her ticket so Dad could unexpectedly came). Quite fun.

Now, on to the part that caused the deep emotions. When I woke up yesterday morning, it was earlier than it was supposed to be as I had woke myself from a nightmare. In the bad dream, there was a big group of us at the coast and the kids were playing in the waves. I saw a large wave come up - yelled out, but all of the kids got swept under. When the wave receded, everyone was recovered except Mikayla. I'm telling you, even typing this has me teary-eyed - it was AWFUL! Throw in a larger than normal fear of ocean surf and drowning*, and yes it was one of the worst nightmares I've had in a long time. I did kind of let it go through the day though - UNTIL- they brought out the first Senior Tribute Dance. A gal that had been dancing with the studio for 12 years and did a BEAUTIFUL ballet piece. She danced to Josh Grobin's "You Raise Me Up" and behind her they had pictures projected of her growing up, including one of her being baptized in a river. Tears streaming down my face.....can you imagine the pride her parents must have? It was so moving. Then, after that performance I stupidly tried to tell my mom about my dream, completely lost it, and cried through the next senior performance. Good Grief! I had to work during intermission selling cookies and such and knew I better get my act together before I came out looking like I had been at a funeral. I'm not even PMS - I think the whole thing just hit me about how deeply I love my children, how proud I am of them, the bright future I see for their lives, and what an amazing ride it will be --- but, oh how hard.

This evening, we have the 2nd and final recital. We'll see if I do any better this time, but just in case, I'll pack plenty of Kleenex.

Here are a few pics of our little star:
This is a pic of Mikayla from the back. I'm not trying to brag or anything, but for a "stay at home mom" I think I did a fairly decent job on her hair - what do you think, Hollie?
Looking reflective.....
Like I said, the costumes weren't our choosing, but they turned out actually better than I thought. Put her in a group with 6 other little yellow angels and it's pretty adorable.

* Regarding that fear- growing up, when we'd play in the waves, Michele ALWAYS went out further than I did. It upset me a lot as a child and I remember yelling and begging her to come closer to the shore. So, what do you know, but perhaps 8 years or so ago, she and some friends went for a trip to the beach and got swept out with the current and barely lived to tell about it. Certainly, her biggest "Near Death Experience" story as the 3 of them worked and worked to keep their heads above water and try to swim back. Also, just this last week, I read about the dangers of sneaker waves in the paper - throw it all together and mix in my concern for losing Leona's John and Mikayla's recital- yeah, I can see why the dream happened.