Not So Great As a Grown-Up

I am 39 years old. I should be classified as a grown-up. But, I want to use today's post to point out that sometimes I don't really want to be a grown-up or at least act like one...

1) A grown-up handles criticism and necessary apologies with humility and grace.
Me: When I'm cornered with something I've inadvertantly messed up (really, I tried to get the volleyball info out to EVERYONE re: the time change - I really did look for your email to include it and asked the rest of the 20 or so folks to forward it on to you....) I do suck it up and say what's necessary in front of you, but I sulk for the rest of the night in defensiveness and anger...

2.) A grown up handles changes in life with ease.
Me: I don't like change. I can't even adjust (on Thursday) to the time change....still wanting to sleep at 8:30 and wake up at 5:30....and don't even get me started on my kids' growing up.

3.) A grown up doesn't freak out when new people in her life - who are extraordinarily nice - but will be "proximity wise" - constants....want to spend time with her.
Me: I find myself worrying that my life will be infringed upon, that the cozy bubble of sanctity in my home will be shattered by new friends....who might want more than I am comfortable giving....

4.) A grown up deals with death.
Me: Okay, being a grown up doesn't necessarily mean knowing how to deal with death, but I have to admit I haven't had to cross that bridge yet in a major way. The deaths in our family were expected or drawn out - and yet, talking with Kimmie yesterday about losing her stepdad this summer and going into the holidays without him - or our across the street neighbors receiving the "bad news" verdict from that last scan - and for them, considering these might be the last holidays together.....well, I just don't feel very grown-up when it comes to offering support in dealing with all of this.

5.) A grown up doesn't desire for the "other team to lose" just because she can't stand the way a few parents are carrying on...
Me: Yep, that is exactly what I did...

So, there you go. Still a work in progress. Maybe my deficiencies are what makes it easy to relate to the generation 15 or so years behind me -

Happy Veterans Day Weekend everyone - and a special shout-out to my dad for sacrificing his time and life to serve in Vietnam so many years ago. LOVE YOU!!!!!