My Week As It Looks at One in the Morning

As I am currently awake at 1:06 am (not a regular event for this girl) - I'm doing a bit of evaluating of how the week has gone, here's a few details-

1.) I'm awake because of the knot in the side of my neck that is the source of much literal pain in my life. I went to see Mom today and while I walked away feeling great, about 6 hours later, this knot became a problem again (this is not a reflection on what my Mom does, on the contrary, sometimes she fixes things, but in "getting the body back where it's supposed to be" the muscles can get kind of grumpy). I have a feeling the knot had nothing to do with her and more to do with the circumstances at the time it started.

2.) I'm in the kitchen typing because I needed to put something in my stomach in order to take some pain medicine. After a long thought process on what I could eat at 1 am with the diet I'm on, I chose peanut butter. I'm pleased with my choice.

3.) My whole body is sore - wondering why it is this week that I would choose to address item #2, and full on, hard core (for me) work-outs.

4.) I miss my hubby. He left last night and it's certainly a week I recognize how much emotional support he is to me. Tonight was Brayden's first scrimmage and for a lot of reasons, I felt very much like a "fish out of water" among the parents. I missed John, found myself resenting the constant conversation about how great the "other teachers" are, and how I need to "watch myself" with the one I have - and, just, - other stuff. Nancy wasn't there and I missed her, which made me realize how safe I've really felt from "the need to fit in" among my group of friends, and how easily old insecurities can emerge back when you're forced to re-start. Throw in varying athletic abilities and popularity issues among the kids, and yikes, it was starting to feel like high school again.

5.) Mikayla loves school. Due to a staggered start for first grade, she had the day off today and couldn't wait to return. She's nice enough to tell me that it's a toss-up as to which is better, being with me all day or being at school. Cross that off the worry list for now.

6.) Brayden's hangin' in there. He was all smiles after the short time he played in the scrimmage - which was priceless to me. He was all tears, however, when I made him re-write a missed spelling word on his pre-test after school. "It's only the second day, Mom, why do you have to be so hard on me?" Good grief, the kid had 6 words to spell and I merely made him re-write one of them instead of erasing the letter.....(and, no, I was not mean about it, very calm and rational - poor Kyle, his buddy who came over for a playdate was probably wondering what the heck was going on - I think he was rooting for Brayden to get his act together too as his opportunity to play with Brayden was dependent on Brayden getting his homework done.....) Yep, that pressure cooker is heating up......

7.) SO GLAD tomorrow is Friday. Getting both the kids to sleep right now at "said bedtime hour" is a lot of stress for me and I promised both that they could stay up as long as they wanted tomorrow - oh wait, that would be tonite.... Brayden quickly replied, "Cool, I'm going to try to stay up all night then!" Oh gosh, that's all we need! I quickly put a stop to that line of thought and made it clear that the sleep had to all balance out in the end - so as late as he stayed up that would be as late as he slept in. Nothing is happening Saturday until Steph and I take the kids to the game (because both our hubbies are gone) - so Saturday morning should be nice.

8.) This one is aimed at you, Steph - Don't you think, based on #'s 1-7 that this about sums up why we aren't planning another child? As much as I'd love to give you whatever I ever could, I just can't do that - at least not in as much as John and I have planned.......