A Highly Emotional Day

The day began at 3:45am for me. My body has recently decided to adopt a routine of waking myself up at exactly that time to have to go to the bathroom. Lovely. Usually, I fall back asleep, but this time my shoulders were aching (elliptical machine), and about 15 minutes later, my Glo-Lamp, which Traig had been messing with, decided to have its alarm go off. Another lovely......

I laid in bed another hour, unsuccessfully finding sleep again, and finally decided to get up and just start my day. I got some of my "to-do's" crossed off very early this morning, and for that, I was feeling highly productive, but by 8am, I was feeling like a walking zombie. Unlike my sister, I am a huge woose about not getting my necessary sleep each night, and therefore highly affected by inadequacies in that department. I went ahead and decided to take a nap after dropping off Mikayla, knowing I didn't have to be anywhere until helping in Brayden's class at 11.

Sleep came fast, but only lasted an hour (which is probably best for tonight....), because John had called on my cell phone. Alrighty then, I called him back and (here's where the emotional high comes in....) he announced that we'd just been confirmed to exchange our "Marriott Unit" for one in Maui the week of April 7th-11th - a trip we've been wanting to make happen for three years. Not only that, but the unit that opened up (miraculously) is big enough to house Travis and Steph as well - and is in the newer tower. Pretty much, it is as good as it gets, and that is extrememly rare in this game of "timeshare exchange".

So, I woke up in a hurry, giddy as can be - trying desperately to hold my tongue when I saw Brayden (we wanted to share it with them together tonite). My emotional tank that had been running on empty, really filled up.

Then, the low came. I was IM'ing a close friend of mine when all of a sudden she announced that a close friend of hers (long distance - and someone I've only met a couple of times), was just diagnosed with MS last night. Devastating news. She's 40, with three small children - the diagnosis was totally unexpected. My heart sank. I think, maybe even more so, because MS is one of those very scary diseases that I have spent time worrying about. It has such random symptoms that can tend to mirror many of the problems I have because of my neck. So, of course, I do wonder- and worry. I know I'm not alone on that one either - another one of my friends considers getting MS and burning up in a fire her two top fears in life. And there you go, this friend of a friend was just given that blow. As this gal told my friend today - "It was a day I woke up and realized the rest of my life will never be the same...." If the diagnosis of MS doesn't scare you, certainly any day that you experience that feeling would.....

I was dwelling on this news and sharing with Michele on the phone when all of a sudden my son comes up to me looking red-faced, tears rolling out of his eyes, and alternately hitting me and motioning towards his throat in a panic. My little boy was choking on a tortilla chip right before my eyes. I went ahead and did the motions of the Heimlich, thinking it all felt "way too pretend to be real" and then he burped and started coughing - and then started bawling. If it weren't for one of his buddies being in the same room and Mikayla's propensity to absorb the emotions of others, I would have been bawling too. Heck, I still feel like doing it right now.

This friend of a friend with MS, I'll call her Carol for now, she no longer gets to have that same carefree thrill of a vacation announcement as I did today. Sure, there will be wonderful things to come in her life, absolutely, no doubt, but now she wears this label and will, I'm sure, be remided constantly of its existence in her life. - And, I would suspect, if the same thing happened with her son, she would worry that someday, she might not be physically capable of saving him. Just a couple of months ago, I stood outside my neighbor's house (my age) as she confided in me that the day before she had been diagnosed with Lupus. Oh wow - kind of made my sore neck feel like pretty petty stuff..... In each of their situations, they were just handed "life sentences". What this will look like in each of their lives, it's too early to tell, but it's a "for the rest of their life" reality. The truth is, at one point or another, we're all going to be handed those sentences. My dad's came when he tearfully told my mom after his mom's death, "I'm an orphan now". My friend, Amy, though it has been gradual, will probably only have a handful of days in her future without pain and fatigue. Perhaps it's the day your spouse strayed, left for good, or died, or the day the test results came back postive. We may not know what it will look like, but we know it will come. Because it's a scary, fallen world, with no promises of anything but death. Days like today remind me that it has to be more than a week in Maui that I set my hopes upon, it needs to be on the One who IS in control and the One who offers HOPE for a world beyone this one...... A promise with absolute guarantees..... . Lord God, how we need you.......